Renewed In Strength By Faith

As most of y’all who have been following our family’s journey know, Ziek was born at a very unexpected 28 weeks. We aren’t sure if his medical complications were ALL due to his prematurity, or if he would have had all his issues anyway if he had been full term — Only God knows the answer to that.

He had A LOT of complications starting from birth, which I’m not going to list here in this post. Just know that if anyone reviewed his medical and surgical history, they’d think “wow, this kid’s a trainwreck”. But GOD IS GOOD and if you saw us out and about, you’d never even think Ziek had ever been through so much.

The main defect that Ziek had at birth, and still has today, is called ESOPHAGEAL ATRESIA. This condition is where the esophagus does not develop properly and does not connect into the stomach. There’s no way to eat or swallow anything by mouth and into the stomach to receive nutrition.

This defect, along with a tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF), was found and diagnosed right after he was born. This resulted in him having to have surgery to repair the fistula and have a gastrostomy feeding tube (g-tube) inserted when he was just a few days old.

This esophageal atresia has been the culprit of most of Ziek’s complications throughout his whole life. He had multiple (many failed) surgeries pertaining to his esophagus and stomach while we were back in Texas. Chad and I witnessed him fight for his life on several occasions, with a couple incidents in particular that I’ll never be able to shake from my memory. But God is sovereign and all-knowing… and He always placed us in the right places at the right time, to be able to catch mistakes and advocate for him to protect his life.

Knowing that Ziek’s condition was so rare and unique, Chad researched and found one of the best surgeons in world to help fix him. This surgeon was originally from Boston Children’s and relocated to Johns Hopkins Children’s here in Florida just a few years before Ziek was born, so naturally that’s where God led us. We originally came to Florida just to have some airway surgeries, but long story short — we ended up dropping everything back home in Texas, in order to keep Ziek in the best place he could be for a better life.

We have been here in Florida for 3 years now, and Ziek has had 5 surgeries/procedures under Dr. Smithers’ care. But all of those surgeries were essentially just “fine tuning” Ziek to get him to this point, to prepare for this huge surgery that’s happening next week. This is literally what we came here for, and it’s been a very emotional time just thinking about it all.

After these surgeries, life will be so different. No more spit coming out of his esophagostomy (spit fistula), no more wet shirts, praying he will adjust quickly and have better management of his spit and less choking, he will be able to properly swallow and eventually eat normal food, he will finally be able to sit down for actual meals with us, and this will literally move Ziek towards a more normal life. It’s all been a long-awaited milestone/season/chapter for Ziek and our family.

It’s like how the people of Israel waited so patiently and put all their hope and trust in the Lord to fulfill His promises to their nation and their peoples in Isaiah 40. God always does everything for His good, and all the pain and suffering that Ziek and our family has been through is all for His glory. So here we are, continuing to pray and trust in the Lord and the people He has designated to be a part of Ziek’s crazy but wonderful testimony.

I’m not gonna lie and say everything has been easy and smooth. We have had a lot of my mixed emotions over the past week or so. We have been anxious (in a good way) for how different life will be after his esophageal reconstruction/anastomosis. But have also had fearful thoughts and bouts of anxiety from the unknown, like what could potentially happen during these super extensive and long surgeries (4-5 hours for the first surgery and 12-16 hours for the second part), effects of being under anesthesia for such a long time, how Ziek will be and how much will he be suffering during post-op phase, or the worst — what if he doesn’t make it through it all.

We have had so much anxiety regarding all of it, and the anticipation and build up as we get closer to his surgery week has all just been so nerve wracking. But the beautiful part of all of it is that we as humans are meant to feel all of these things. It allows us to really cling closer to the Lord and examine the depth of our spiritual faith. It reminds us that we are weak, but God is not. He has infinite strength because He is the Almighty One, and we can lean on Him to give us strength and carry us through any and all of our trials.

This whole week has been evident of God’s presence in our lives. From the generous friends we have at church and in the neighborhood that selflessly blessed Ziek with their blood donations, to the counselor I was resistant to speaking with that turned out to be a believer, to all of the love, comfort, and support my friends at work have shown us, and the patient I had yesterday evening who caught wind of Ziek’s surgery and ended up holding my hand and praying for US while he was laying in the stretcher recovering from surgery himself. There are other little things here and there that I can’t even list right now because it’s so much. God is here with us all the time, and all we have to do is just BE STILL and pay attention.

We don’t know how things will turn out. We don’t know how recovery will go. But God knows…. And just like Abraham put his full blind faith and trust in the Lord when he brought Isaac up on that mountain, we are also placing Ziek’s surgery in God’s hands.

Lord, You are awesome and so faithful — as you always have been since the beginning of time. We love and trust you; let YOUR will be done. Thank You for placing all these wonderful people in our lives to love us, pray for us, bless us, and support us through everything. I pray You would bless them with Your unconditional love and mercy, just as You have blessed us. In Jesus’ name, amen.