A Letter To My Son

My sweet Noah,

I’m writing this letter to you to let you know how much you are loved. I’ve loved you from the moment that first home pregnancy test showed positive. And your daddy has loved you from the moment I told him later that same night that you were growing in my belly.

With each day, our love for you grew deeper and deeper. We always talked about you to everyone and they all fell in love with you too. So many people were praying for you, and we were all so eager to meet you.

I’ll never forget the intimate moments you and I had. All the times you were pressing on mama’s sciatic nerve, causing crazy pain, it let me know you were okay inside and growing. I’ll always miss feeling you do flips and turns inside my belly. And the sound of your strong beating heart will forever resonate in my mind.

I oftentimes day dreamed about our future life together. What you would look like, which one of us you’d favor more, what your personality would be like, being able to hold you, nurse you, watch you grow and develop as a tiny little human, hear your all those little laughs and coos, and watch you smile every time you see or hear mama and daddy.

I didn’t know that we wouldn’t have that kind of future together. And my heart aches all the time when I think about what could have been.. But I wouldn’t change a thing about my time with you, son. I talked to you daily while you were in my womb. I prayed with you and for you all the time. I fed you all of the things you loved, and stayed away from things you didn’t like. As your body developed and grew, mine did too. You made your mama so much stronger and brought me closer to God.

Although I wasn’t able to keep you, I know that you’re watching over me and your daddy from heaven.. and I know we will see you again some day. I just wanted to remind you that we love you so much, and we think about you and miss you all the time. I can’t wait to see you again, my angel. 💙👼🏼😘

Love always and forever, your mama.